It is an autoethnography to reveal: How do concepts of performativity help us to understand our embodiment of feminine beauty?

Using a Butlerian lens on performativity and gender, this zine argues that ‘beauty’—like ‘woman’ or ‘man’—is not something fixed, but a performative identity shaped through social acts. Gender isn’t just biology; it’s something we ‘do.’ The same goes for beauty, which isn’t pre-existing but is constantly created through the expressions that define it.  

The writer looks closely at the complex relationship between her body and discourse, nature and culture, to understand how her beautifying practices are material and discursive at once. Framing her story around ‘triumph over tragedy’ and illness narratives uncovers how she ‘performs’ in so-called liberal society. Readers might find a strange comfort in this truth—that owning your story gives you the confidence to stand your ground.